I'm Going To Need Therapy
by XxHeatherXD
Summary: All I wanted was to play a game in peace! But no that's just to hard to ask for, now I has assassins in my room!


I'm Going To Need Therapy

Chapter One – Xbox Of Doom

_Click, Click, Click, _I look up at the clock, okay only five more minutes and then I am out of this hellhole. I lay my head down on the table, all I hear is the teacher going blah blah blah like in Charlie Brown. I close my eyes, but as soon I get comfy I loud bang shakes my whole table to make me jump up. My teacher Mr. Assface or his real name Mr. Bush glares at me "Wake up Miss. Gregory" I yawn "We only have 2 more minutes of class though" I say pouting. I hear giggles from all around the classroom, I look back to see my friends laughing. Mr. Bush face goes all red, I got him mad shit "Well since you disrupted my class you have to write a three-page essay on the crusade and the renaissance. And I expect to see it on my desk on Tuesday" my jaw drops "That's bullshit!" I say loudly. Fuck I cover my mouth "Oh my God I'm so sorry" I say clinging to his shirt. My friend Justin is laughing his ass off, Mr. Bush looks really annoyed now "Make that five-pages" with that the bell rings. I can't feel my legs, my friend Faith helps me up "Nice going Heath" she tells me. I feel a tear escape my eye "Five pages! How the hell am I going to do a five fucking page essay on the crusade and renaissance!" I say throwing my hands up in the air. She shrugs "It's your fault for staying up all last night playing that stupid game" she says getting her phone out to text. I take mine out as well "Well for you information it's not a stupid game! And you where playing Assassins Creed as well!" I tell her making my point clear. Justin walks over and puts his arm around us "How are my babes" I punch him in the gut "Not in the mood Justin!" I hiss at him.

He rubs his stomach "Just trying to help" I roll my eyes, I ask if it's Friday because knowing me I forget very easily or I just don't care. Becky my video game best friend shakes me "Dude it is, do you know what that means?" I smile widely and I wrap my arm around her. We both get ready to say it "Ezio!" "Altair!" we glare at each other. Oh I said Ezio, because I have my reasons, one he's Italian and Italians are dah shit! Reason number two, he's funny and he knows Leonardo, and my final reason he has a really hot older brother who sadly dies. I cried for a good two days when Federico died, but that's because people that made the game are idiots and stupid. Becky snaps her fingers "No Altair! You even said that Malik was like some sex god with only one arm! We are playing Assassins Creed I!" I snap my fingers back, oh this is how we do it in Brooklyn "No Ezio, we are playing Assassins Creed II because I fee like crying tonight" I tell her. Becky places a hand over her face "Oh my God, I'm not in the mood to get a shit loud of heresy's, seeing you shove them down your throat, then in them morning I get yelled at because you say you gained weight! No I'm not doing it!" my jaw drops, okay maybe she is right, but she doesn't stop me "Well uh, at least I'm not flat chested!" I say pointing a finger at her. Becky covers her mouth "Take that back, well at least I don't have a small bellybutton" she says loudly. I cover her mouth "I told you not to speak of that!" I growl at her.

She dances around "Heather has a small bellybutton!" she sings. I stare at her "Okay now your just being stupid" she stops and glares at me "Fine your not my game buddy anymore!" I huff "Fine by me!" we both stomp outside. When I reach my car I see her waiting for me, she looks down "I need a ride" well isn't this awkward. I open the car door, and I start the car and I begin to drive to her house in bay ridge. It has to be the quietest car ride her in my life, I put on the radio and I put on some Queen. I tap my fingers against the wheel as she looks out the window. Ugh this idiot won't move and the light is green, I honk my horn but the guy flips me off. I keep on honking to piss him off, but he gets out the car and damn he's all buff and shit. I get out of my car and I put my hands up "Sorry but the light is green dude" I tell him.

All his homies get out of the car as well, looking pisses "Yeah I'm just going to get in my car" I mumble to myself. The guy points a finger at me "Son you gotta learn so respect, get what I'm saying?" I can't understand one word he's saying so I just nod with a dumb look on my face. I begin to drive again, twitching though because I was just so scared! When we reach her house, she just leaves slamming my car door if I may add. I live all the way in downtown Brooklyn, but I'm nice enough to drive her all the way home. No a simple "Thank you Heather for driving me home" is so hard to ask for, but slamming my goddamn door is not! I mumble to myself all the way home, but of course when I get back I can't find a damn parking space! I hit my head against the wheel and I let the honk go off for a good three minutes before I hear people yelling to shut the hell up. I cry for joy when I see a person got out of their spot, I am about to go into it but a little kid on a bicycle comes out of no ware. The little devil pokes his tongue at me before leaving his bicycle in the spot and goes running off. Oh my Jesus, is it like hate Heather day? I can't take it so I just run over the bike with my car. I smile to myself oh that felt good, the kid comes back, but he starts to cry for his mommy. I turn off the engine and I get out to ruffle the kids hair "Don't mess with me" I growl at him before going into my apartment with the kid on his knees crying for his bike back.

I walk through the door to see my mom in the kitchen, oh yeah where she belongs! I throw my bag on the floor "Hey ma" I say slumping to the floor. My dog, Chewie sits his fat ass on my lap and growls at me. I throw my hands up in the air "Oh God, I'm sorry is this your floor!" I yell at him. I know it's stupid to yell at a dog, but it's MY dog so I shall yell at him if I please. My mother passes me a sandwich "What's wrong?" she says sipping her coffee. Chewie sniffs my food and tries to bite it; I push him off "No that's a bad puppy it's my sandwich!" I say copping Cartman from South Park. Chewie growls at me, "NO! THAT'S A BAD PUPPY!" I yell making my mom tell me off "Heather! I asked you a question!" I laugh, "You did, uh school and shit. Oh and pms" I say getting up. My mother sighs and continues to read the newspaper. I walk into my bedroom slamming the door shut. What a long day, I lost a friend, everyone was picking on me, and now I got to write some stupid essay! I look over to my xbox, then back at my bed, back at the awesome machine then back at the comfy bed. I tap my finger against my temple, and then I get an idea. I pop in prototype, why? Have you seen Alex's ass! It's like the most holy ass ever, well besides my own it's pretty god damn holy. I lay in my chair, with a bag of chips on my left and a coke on my right. I have the life, just sitting at home playing video games and gaining weight just lovely. My mom walks in "Honey, I'm going out" I look over my shoulder to see my mom in a dress "Where ya going?" I say smiling. She turns around so that I can see her dress "Does it look nice?" she asks blushing. I take a long sip of coke "Yeah, so Mike right? If he touches you and you get pregnant, just a heads up I'm ripping off his balls and running away," I say turning back to the game.

I hear her gasp "Heather! Wh-what are you talking about?" she asks stuttering. Yeah so my parents are split up if you haven't noticed yep, Dad lives in England and so forth. I shrug my eyes focused on Alex's ass and killing bitches. She sighs and closes my door with a goodnight and will be home tomorrow. Once I hear those words tomorrow I jump up from my seat and I open the door to see her leaving "MA! TOMORROW? YOU GETTING LAID TONIGHT! YOU DIRTY LADY!" I scream making her eyes go wide "I'm in adult" with that she is about to leave but I call out again "MAMA! GET MORE CHEESE PUFFS!" but all I hear is a shut up and then a loud door slamming. I sigh and I look down at my dog, he looks back at me and growls before going to eat his food. Everyone hates me, damn it! I head back into my room, okay I think I had enough of the holy ass for one night, now it's for the holy walk, which is owned by Altair!

Yes I know I said Ezio, but I believe I gained enough weight as it is and I want to see some getto walk. I take a quick glance at Alex's ass before tuning it off, wait… did I save? I bite onto the controller keeping in my screams, I forgot to save damn it! I always do that, I just stare at his ass and then I forget to save! I blame Alex's ass, it's his entire fault yes, yes it is! I sigh, but what the hell I'll just start over. I open the tray and I place the disk in, you know when the Xbox makes weird sounds like it's about to explode, well it's making that kind of sounds right now. I stare at the machine as it begins to have like a spazz attack. I get up and I walk backwards as I now see the red ring of death! I jump behind the beanbag chair when it makes a click sound. I hear a loud thump, like boots landing on the wood floor. My heart is beating a mile a minute; oh shit what's going on! I peek my head to see, two dudes standing up looking down at me. Wait I must be high or something, is that Altair and Malik? Okay Heather there must be something in the air that is fucking up your mind girl! I get up slowly walking towards them, the guy who looks like Malik is about to say something but I have a mini spazz attack making him shush. I'm about a good two feet away from them just looking at them with bug eyes. I raise my trembling hand towards this dude with his hood up and I poke his chest making my heart stop. I look up into his honey colored eyes "Got a problem girl?" he says in a deep ass voice. But I don't get a chance to reply because my eyes roll to the back of my head and I pass out leaving everything to go black as night.

My mind is spinning like you just got off one of those rides where all you do is spin around and around. Like I had a dream that I saw Malik and Altair, they where in my room just standing their looking all-cool. Why am I on the floor? Did I like pass out or something? I hear to voices talking in Arabic or something like that it sounds Middle Eastern, I hear one of them say, "Damn it Altair you scared the poor child!" The man sneers in a thick accent. Then I hear another voice say "I didn't do anything, she touched me and then bam she passed out! She looked high or something" but this guy doesn't have an accent. I feel someone poke my side "Excuse me, but are you okay my child?" the dude who sounds like the sexy Malik himself says. I open one my eyes well to see Malik and Altair looking down at me. Altair nods "Great your awake now mind telling us where the fuck we are!" he yells. Malik places a rough hand on his shoulder "Novice! That won't help!" he growls at the assassin. I sit up straight, just staring at them with huge eyes and my jaw wide open "yo-your Malik an-and Altair!" I say trembling pointing a finger at them both. Altair folds his arms across his chest "Yea we are, mind telling me how you know that girl?" he huffs.

I stand up my legs all-stiff, I walk over to the table and I hand it over to Malik with my hand shaking like I just took some coke. He takes it and examines it with Altair "What is this?" they ask. I swallow "You guys are part of a virtual world or in other words a video game called Assassins Creed" I explain to the slowly. Altair throws his hands up in the air "Well isn't that great!" he yells. Malik rubs his chin with his one hand "What year is it?" he asks softly. I smile softly "2010" they both gasp Malik makes a cross praying will Altair is fuming. I squint at Altair "I have neighbors mind keeping it down" I do because the next thing I hear is the old man next door pounding on the wall with his cane. I run my hand through my hair, as Malik breathes slowly "Okay this can't be forever" he tells himself. Altair is pacing around in my room "You know I just wanted to be master assassin again, but no since I'm Altair everything must go wrong! I was so clo- Why is this room so small!" he yells changing the subject. I huff "It's my room and it's not small! Maybe your just fat!" I tell him. Altair glares at me "You have tongue, watch it girl" he warns me. I smile as I walk up to him "Guess what Altair it's the 20nth century, us girls have rights! Also it's not girl it's Heather!" I explain to him poking his head. Malik's head snaps up "You have rights?" he seems surprised. I nod throwing my hands in the air "I need coffee!"


End file.
